


Decided

by orphan_account



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: F/M, Flashback, Het, Infidelity, Mild Sexual Content, POV Male Character, POV Third Person, Pre-Canon, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-17
Updated: 2012-01-17
Packaged: 2017-10-29 17:39:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/322437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's always kind of had a thing for blondes, he decides.</p><p>Written for burnthe_city @ livejournal, prompt was: let's make better mistakes tomorrow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Decided

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 8/21/10.

He's always kind of had a thing for blondes, he decides.

Whether or not he makes this up the moment he sees her is debatable, but Rufus is too busy staring to start up any such debate, and she's too busy not staring back to participate. And it's not like he wants to talk to anyone else at the party. No, wait - he could talk to his girlfriend. Briefly, he glances down at the girl on his arm, the girl who is totally _not_ just another groupie, the girl whom he'd made actual promises to. She isn't blonde.

"Do you want another drink?" he asks, and takes off in the opposite direction of the bar before she can answer.

She - her name is on the edge of his mind and he's just too drunk to remember, so it's completely logical of him not to be getting more drinks - calls something after him, and he's sure it's very important and reminds himself to remember it later, then takes off down the hall.

 _Her_ name is Lily and there's no possible way he's ever going to forget that, nor the way she snaps a photo of him as soon as he approaches her, or how she laughs and asks where his groupies are and laughs some more. He tells her that he's not into groupies, because at that moment, he decides that he isn't, _really_. He'd just gotten out of a long lasting relationship with whatever-her-name-is, after all, and by _long-lasting_ he means almost a week and by _gotten out of_ he means chased Lily down the hall. She says she'd guessed as much and then laughs again and tells him she's into groupies, as in being one.

"But only for really good bands, of which, if tonight's display was any indication, you are obviously not part."

So he writes her a song on the spot and rhymes Lily with silly and frilly and chili, which he'd made yesterday, he informs her, because women like men who can cook. They also, apparently, like men who ditch their girlfriends and sing them crappy songs and act like complete idiots, because instead of giggling this time, she leans in and kisses him. Then she giggles. And he gives what is obviously a very manly, dignified laugh.

She's wearing pearls under the scraggly leather top and she pauses in the middle of kissing to reach back and carefully remove them. Her mother bought them for her, she says, and that may not mean much to him, but it does to her, she says, because if she's going to break them, the bitch is going to be there to witness it, she says. Then she kisses him again.

His, decidedly ex, girlfriend bursts in halfway through. Turns out her name is Susan.

\---

He's always kind of had a thing for black hair, he decides.

Whether or not he makes this up the moment he sees her naked is debatable, but she's _naked_ , so Rufus doesn't say anything, least of all start a debate. He thinks he should probably go back to the party, he has to go save the whales or breast cancer or something, but then again, there are enough breasts in this room - meaning two - for him to be practically participating. Then he remembers his wife, whom he loves and adores. But her hair isn't black.

"I- uh- do you want a drink?" He holds his glass out to her, not really knowing what to do, nor why his son's girlfriend is naked in his stepdaughter's room, but life's full of mysteries, isn't it?

She - Lily, as in his wife, as in the one whom he's loved for twenty years - calls something up the stairs and he's pretty sure it has to do with him hurrying down, and he replies that he'll be right there, but he can't exactly be sure if he's ever going to move again, because _she is naked_.

Her name is Vanessa and there's no possible way he could've forgotten it, because he's known her since she was nine. He also knows that this is wrong and terrible and she is still naked. She laughs awkwardly, but just leans forward and takes the drink and says thank you and that she'd spilled her last one all over her dress and Serena had said she could borrow anything in the closet that she liked.

"Hence the nakedness."

He's still just staring and maybe she'd been hoping that something else would happen, because she sighs and finally reaches for something to cover up with and his brain registers that this is a good thing, but his hands reach out and pull the sheet away, anyway, and then he's pushing her down on Serena's bed and she is telling him she's been waiting years for this and, for the first time in his life, he doesn't say a thing, because he has, too. She'd come back form Vermont and she'd been gorgeous, but she'd been sixteen. Then she'd worked at his coffee shop and she'd been gorgeous, but she'd been seventeen. Then she'd started dating his son and she'd been gorgeous, and she'd finally been eighteen, but she'd been dating his son. And he'd been married.

And he's still married.

But he can't stop. He's thrusting and she's clawing at his back, and he's so, so sorry for everything. For what he's doing to Lily and what he'd done to fucking Susan and, especially, for what he's doing to Vanessa. He tries to tell her this, but she tells him to shut-up, tells him it's her choice, tells him to move to the left a little bit.

When it's over, and she's finally not naked, he helps helps her strip Serena's bed of the sheets and discreetly slip on a new set. As a step-father, he figures it's the least he can do. Then she takes his hand, very briefly, and says she's going to go find Dan and that he should go find Lily. He nods, but wants to apologize and beg for forgiveness and be forgiven.

But, he decides, he's not sorry. So, he doesn't say anything.


End file.
